I normally don't complie top 10 lists but after watching a few of these gems while grooming my cats it hit me that I had to make this. And yes I know I missed some so no need to rip me via email or comments... I cry myself to sleep enough. Now let's get this party started...
10) Bill Cosby - Sgt Pepper
I don't know what the draw is for comedians to cover songs, especially Beatles songs but Bill Cosby tried it and it's a) not funny and b) not a good cover. Double Fail. At lease Bill isn't serious about it though as that is the kiss of death.
9) Robin Williams - Come together
Another comedian covering a Beatles song! Now I'm not sure if there was an official video for this train wreck but I'd rather not see Robin sweat his way through completly destroying this Beatles classic anyway. I'd also love to know why this was even attempted? Who was the genius that a) told robin williams he could sing and b) that this would be a good idea under any circumstances? I can sing in the shower too Robin, doesn't mean I'm cuttin a single!
8) Mark Wahlberg - Good Vibrations
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch take the 8 spot because although hes dead serious, he started out as a crappy hard core hip hop wanna be MC (he bench presses cinder blocks!) and then made the jump to crappy actor (except for Boogie Nights of course). This song is a guilty pleasure I must admit, but as always you look back and have to wonder why anyone would take him seriously. Feel it, feel it! Come on, come on!
7) Jennifer Love Hewitt- Can I Go Now
Was J Love the inspiration for other horrible teen actresses (Lohan, Miley, Ashley Simpson) to go multi-platform and try their hand at singing and acting? If not I really wish they had realized that although it might seem like a good idea, its really just another way for everyone to make fun of you. Girls stick to your day job, no matter how much auto-tune there is.
6)William Shatner - Rocket Man
Now this was kind of a joke, but Shatner parlayed this joke into staying relevant and his second album of spoken word cover songs called Captain of the Starship so he kinda strattled the line here of serious and kidding although its Shatner so really he was mostly serious. Either way it made for great jokes for everyone, especially Family Guy and Beck who both parodied this really well.
5) Shaquille O'Neal - I'm Outstanding
No Shaq, no your not. Basketball, sure we'll give you the "outstanding" tag but here your just standing out as being horrible. Little trivia for you, how many albums has Shaq released? Give up? 5. 5 freaking albums! Good lord, talk about following bad money with bad money.
4) Eddie Murphy - Party All The Time
Now this song is freaking awesome, and you throw it on at any party and everyone will erupt in a singing and dancing orgy but its awesome to laugh at. Not a great song of course, but we are really laughing at how Eddie thought he could really be a singer on top of being a huge comedic actor. Now remember this was the 24 Hours, Coming to America, Raw, Eddie Murphy. Not this weird dude who assaults our movie theaters twice a year with god awful comedies that only window lickers can enjoy, and that makes this video sooo much better.
3) Hasselhoff - Get In My Car
Don't F with the Hoff. Dude wants you to get in his car you do it God damn it!! Like you can resist the many face lifted Hoff in that creepy leather blazer driving in his Knight Rider Kit car anyway, good luck girls. This video gives me the douche chills every single time. Run girls!! RUUNNN!!!
2) Don Johnson - Heart Beat
Every stereotypical 80s music video collectively laughed their ass off when this one was released. You know those guys in Wham and A-Ha breathed a heavy sigh of relief when this idiot decided to come out with a song. I can imagine Don Johnson incredibly coked up and listening to 80s radio like "I can do this! yeah of course I can, I'd be great" snnnoooorrt. "I'll call it... get in my car! no no no... uh, uh uh... Roll up my blazer! Almost there, ooohh yeah almost there....god my heart is beating out of my chest. OH there it is!! I need a heeeaaarrrt beat! Jackpot! whhoooo!!" snnoooorrrt.
1)Joe Pesci - Wise Guy
Joey please, a hip hop song? Really? From the very beginning you can tell Pesci is NOT feelin this and just wants to get this thing done. His lack of enthusiasim just screams get me the thell out of here! Also Joe (or who ever wrote this), by no stretch of the imagination is "its the bitches that'll getches" a good chorus. "Getches" is not even a word let alone does it rhyme with anything. Joe's agent absolutely thought this hip hop thing was a good idea becuase of how popular gangster movies are with the black community, kinda like Tommy Hilfiger. Boy was he wrong.
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ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: THE DEAR HUNTER CLICK PIC FOR INTERVIEW
September Concert Calendar
Manhattan/Brooklyn
9/04: Mavado / Bounty Killer / Beenie Man /
Serani @ Hammerstein Ballroom
9/06: Benny Page / LionDub / Starkey
@ Public Assembly: BK
9/06: Irie Jamboree @ York College: Jamaica
9/08: Rubblebucket @ Brooklyn Bowl: BK
9/08: The Roots @ Highline Ballroom
9/11: John Brown's Body / The Black Seeds
@ Bowery Ballroom
9/12: Bill Laswell Presents: Method of Defiance
@ Bowery Ballroom
9/17: Face To Face / Pegboy @ Gramercy Theatre
9/18: Groundation @ BB King Blues Club
9/18: Dub War / Mary Anne Hobbs @ Love
9/19: Skream / Benga / Drop The Lime @
Le Poisson Rouge
9/20: Thursday @ Bowery Ballroom
9/22: Face To Face / Pegboy @ Irving Plaza
9/25: The Pimps Of Joytime @ Brooklyn Bowl: BK
9/26: Dub Trio @ Knitting Factory: BK
9/26: Brothers Past @ Bowery Ballroom
9/27: Sunny Day Real Estate @ Terminal 5
New Jersey
9/04: Last Days Of Empire / The Casting Out / Chambers /
Stay Gold @ Court Tavern: New Brunswick
9/09: The Janks / Magic Hat #9 Party @
The Saint: Asbury Park
9/11: Westbound Train / Hub City Stompers @
Asbury Lanes: Asbury Park
9/18: Youth Brigade / The Casualties @ Asbury Lanes:
Asbury Park
9/20: Little Joy @ Maxwell's: Hoboken
9/24: Rorschach @ Asbury Lanes: Asbury Park
Philadelphia & PA.
9/04: Rubblebucket @ World Cafe Live
9/05: Dopapod / Turkuaz / Josh Phillips @ The Fire
9/18: Immortal Technique @ Trocadero
9/18: Thursday @ First Unitarian Church
9/19: Mary Anne Hobbs @ SubDivision: Pittsburgh
9/20: Face To Face @ Trocadero
9/21: Face To Face @ Mr. Smalls: Pittsburgh
9/30: Immortal Technique @ Altar Bar: Pittsburgh
9/30: Mike Gordon @ Mr. Smalls: Pittsburgh
Washington DC.
9/05: !!! / Pivot @ Black Cat
9/06: DJ Jerome Baker III / DJ Tom Lim @ Studio 10
9/08: Motorhead @ 9:30 Club
9/17: Yo La Tengo @ 9:30 Club
9/25: Yeah Yeah Yeahs @ 9:30 Club
9/29: BLK JKS / Laughing Man @ Black Cat
9/30: Sunny Day Real Estate @ 9:30 Club
Baltimore & MD.
9/04: Ruiner / Pulling Teeth / Sick Fix @
Talking Head Club
9/06: Medeski Martin & Wood / Karl Denson's
Tiny Universe/ Dumpstaphunk / Traffic Jam @ Sonar
9/08: Down / Melvins @ Sonar
9/10: Akron/Family @ Talking Head Club
9/11: Naked Raygun / Paint It Black / Shot Baker
@ Ottobar
9/16: Mos Def / Talib Kweli @ Sonar
9/17: Matt and Kim / Amanda Blank @ Sonar
9/18: Busdriver / Mickey Free @ Talking Head Club
9/19: Face To Face / Pegboy @ Sonar
9/19: Immortal Technique @ Recher Theatre
9/20: Appomattox @ Talking Head Club
9/21: People Under The Stairs @ Ottobar
9/25: Ponytail / Crazy Dreams Band @ Ottobar
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